It was Antony Van Leeuwenhoek who first hooked into the gross gunk of his own teeth, shoved it under a microscope (one he’d made earlier) saw it magnified two hundred times, and declared the shapely movements of the ‘animalcules’ in his sights.

This is what can happen without YouTube as a useless distraction and Grinder only as a reference to the means of changing vision fields through glass lens alterations.

Artistry and accuracy.

Not the predominant themes of TikTok, which wasn’t popular in the specific year time travel has landed us, in which Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation hit the ground running after the apple that certainly didn’t hit his head.

Newton swears it didn’t happen. Unless for reasons known only to him he lied to Voltaire at the time. Which would have been a strange thing for a very smart Englishman to do to the smartest man in France.

Particularly the one who would have invented God if he didn’t already exist.

1666 was a prolific year for the sciences and those waiting for the world to end, and a completely nothing year for social media. Had everyone been glued to their screens under Charles II’s reign it’s likely that many more than six would have perished in the Great Fire of London, and presumably Isaac would have missed everything there was to notice about the descent of that apple.

With nothing to tweet, it was a fruitful year for Newton including and yet aside from the apple. He had optics to work on, calculus to invent and somewhere in his schedule he had to fundamentally change the basic understanding of the physical world. Barely enough time to conceive the adage “an apple a day keeps the dentist away” which explains why it was plagiarised so successfully by a doctor.

The COVID-19 of the time being the bubonic plague, had him retreat (read run away) from Cambridge to his mum’s house in Woolthorpe-by-Colsterworth, Lincolnshire via the A1 had it existed at the time.

Though it didn’t, the house did in which he was born on December 25th 1642, like a little time traveller, two or three months earlier than he should have been. According to his mum (who was clearly there at the time) itty little Isaac could “fit inside a quart jug”.

Like a 17th century Christmas teacup cat.

As a mathematician and a physicist, the time traveling Newton did in arriving before he was born is possible in terms of what recent research shows.

Theoretically at least; and apparently paradox-free are the findings of University of Queensland graduate Germain Tobar.

Part of Tobar’s research includes classical dynamics, which can tell the complete history of a system if you know the state of it at a particular time.

“This has a wide range of applications,” he says, “from allowing us to send rockets to other planets and modelling how fluids flow.

For example, if I know the current position and velocity of an object (a tube of toothpaste, perhaps) falling under the force of gravity, I can calculate where it will be at any time.” 

“..object falling under the force of gravity…” is what should pique some Isaac interest and possibly a bit of ghostly nostalgia, albeit hopefully without the possessive fury to which he was prone and known.

Einstein’s theory of general relativity makes an appearance in Tobar’s model.

It predicts the existence of time loops – or time travel – where an event can be in both the past and future of itself.

Something that so far only Michael J. Fox has been able to achieve.

Ostensibly, a physics theory that unifies both traditional dynamics and Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is the holy grail since current science says both hypotheses can’t be true.

Why you wouldn’t just pick one and go with that is something only a physicist can justify. For Tobar (and decades and decades of sciency discussions and pub debates) if time travel allowed the past to be changed, what would happen differently in the future, is exactly nothing.

Because, (he maintains) “Events readjust around anything that could cause a paradox, so the paradox does not happen.”

That is, anything you tried to change in the past that you went back to, would be corrected by subsequent events.

It makes time travel a spectator sport, with Newton still sitting in a jug as a baby.

It means it wouldn’t be possible to change anything by going back to where it started, from the place that marked its end before it even finished.

So anything oral microbiome would remain the same. Like a Led Zeppelin song.

No pathogens could be removed. No brilliant, boosty, beneficial bacteria pumped up and made impervious to damage and demise.

Particularly by toothpaste. It disrupts the purpose of maintaining a healthy mouth.

It’s precisely what happens though. Common toothpaste ingredients – particularly those in whitening toothpastes – kill good bacteria along with the bad.

Mouthwashes as well. More-so, really.

Good oral microbe colonies require probiotics. The best way to get them is having a diet full of fresh vegetables, fruits, legumes, nuts and proteins.

Researchers in Spain have ascertained that toothpaste containing extra virgin olive oil, xylitol and betaine (a chemical derived from sugar beet) improves microbiome and could therefore aid the oral health of gingivitis sufferers.

Several other studies on the management of dental biofilm (or plaque) recommend the use of herbal toothpastes. They typically contain natural ingredients as opposed to somewhat harsh chemicals. The anti-inflammatory and anti-bacterial properties are acquired through plant extracts and essential mineral salts.

For four months, the Spanish study participants brushed their teeth for four minutes, three times daily. Comparatively, people generally brush for two minutes, twice a day.

Strong anti-inflammatory, anti-oxidant and antibacterial effects were reported, as well as reduced gingival bleeding and diminished dental plaque. Salivary pH was slightly alkaline; indicative of oral bacteria being in balance with the host immune system and microenvironment. It results in lower inflammation levels and therefore healthy cell destruction risk is minimal.

Xylitol – a natural, non-digestible carbohydrate – has long been recognised as beneficial in lowering saliva acid levels, limiting harmful bacteria and remineralising tooth enamel.

Extra virgin olive oil may help stop the progression of gum disease because of its anti-inflammatory properties, along with its ability to impede bad bacteria colonisation. Betaine improves saliva quality and production and relieves gum irritation.

The disruption of healthy mouth microbiome causes the imbalances that create the perfect environment for cavities and gum disease.

Researchers at the University of Adelaide are working on the answer for those who do all the right things and still struggle with poor dental health: a bacteria transplant from a super donor who naturally has healthy microbiome.

It’s a mystery as to why some people have good oral health even whether they go to the dentist, floss or even brush properly.

A microbiome transplant via a special toothpaste or gel, is a way to recover deficient microbe colonies in people with compromising oral conditions. Early results show the successful suppression of cavities with no adverse impact on gut health.

The team endeavours to build a biobank of beneficial bacteria from super donors and develop a paste for those susceptible to tooth decay and poor dental health. It could be the most cost-effective solution to one of the world’s most common chronic illnesses.

In Australia 63,000 people are hospitalised every year because of acute, preventable oral health disorders.

Someone should look into that. Really look into it.

Like Leeuwenhoek into a microscope, Newton pondering an apple, Voltaire considering god and a Queenslander never arriving back to a place that’s already past present time.

What happens differently in the future can’t be exactly nothing.

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